Published in the Quad-City Times on Nov. 29, 2023

OK, we can take Mariah off ice now. 

There’s a joke on social media every year that the music industry gets to defrost Mariah Carey on Nov. 1. Once the “All I Want For Christmas Is You” singer is free, it opens the holiday music floodgates.

But I’m not a believer in Christmas songs in early November. I’m firmly in the camp that holiday songs shouldn’t be played until every slice of turkey breast is fully digested on Thanksgiving.

I love the holiday season, but most holiday art is just a little too on-the-(red)-nose for me to buy in any earlier. Most classic Christmas songs just feel like they’re yelling in your face.

Be merry! Swallow your sorrows! Gorge on glee and puke up gift receipts!

That amorphous merriness is in every Hallmark movie and is only made worse when each scene is sandwiched by Walmart adverts and cars with bows on them. 

What I’m saying is I need some subtlety. 

My favorite holiday movie is “It’s A Wonderful Life,” a grand appreciation of those around you that merely whispers its altruism. And while it is a Christmas movie, the film doesn’t make that clear until the final act. 

In “It’s A Wonderful Life,” holiday joy is a consequence of selflessness, not the other way around. Everything feels more authentic that way, and its ethos transcends the month of December. 

I promise I’m not a Scrooge. In fact, Christmas is probably my favorite holiday, but I just want the immense love I feel each December to be more real than an on-sale snow globe shaken violently. 

So I lean into the holiday songs that are grounded in reality, where sadness and wistfulness are complicated byproducts of the season.

Thanksgiving is gone. Mariah is thawing. Here are the non-traditional holiday songs I’m listening to. 

Concert of The Week: Rocky Mountain High Experience at Adler Theatre

First, it would be a shame if I didn’t mention John Denver in this column. His 1975 record “Rocky Mountain Christmas” is arguably the forefather for many of the country-tinged holiday dirges I’ll name later. 

While he passed away in 1997, you can hear some of John Denver’s holiday tunes covered by musician Rick Schuler on Sunday at the Adler Theatre in Davenport. The matinee show starts at 2 p.m., with doors opening at 1 p.m.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled sad holiday music. 

Counting Crows — “A Long December” (1996)

Let’s be honest. It’s been a long year.

I’ve moved three times and worked five different jobs. I’ve often felt like an imposter or fly on the wall in my own life. As a desert rat, this is the first time I’ve ever seen snow on my windshield. Everything is wonky, upside down and isolating, and that’s the perfect time for “A Long December.”

Crowned the best holiday song by Uproxx music critic Steven Hyden, “A Long December” is a masterclass of musical prose, as is almost anything from songwriter Adam Duritz. On this iconic piano ballad, Duritz traverses Southern California grasping at the straws of time as they slip through his fingertips. It’s a song of new beginning, and all the isolation and promise it brings. 

Taylor Swift — “’tis the damn season” (2020)

Spending a winter feeling out of place somewhere unfamiliar is one thing. Feeling lost in the town you used to call home is another.

Swift’s spiritual “folklore” sequel, “evermore,” was released when I was home for winter break as a sophomore in college. After spending time studying in a big city, being back in my rural small town again was bittersweet.

My parents lived blocks from my childhood house. The Christmas tree wasn’t where it used to be and neither was I. 

On “’tis the damn season,” Swift is reaching for the feeling of home through the rekindling of an old flame. Just a glimpse of something natural, a taste of when the town used to feel like yours. And that December, I understood. 

If the lines between nostalgia and regret are increasingly blurry each time you go home for the holidays, this one — one of Swift’s best — is for you. 

Chance The Rapper & Jeremih — “One More Cry” (2016)

There are plenty of bangers on Chance and Jeremih’s two holiday mixtapes. But on this song, the Chicago rappers grapple with those who aren’t around the tree. The tears well up. It’s harder to hold back. And sonically, this song’s success is in the release of pent-up grief. 

On “One More Cry,” Chance dons the emotions of the balladeer and the wordplay of an emcee. Between tributes to his Aunt Kim and bars about shakily wearing the “man of the house” crown, this is one of his best performances. 

“I’ve been banging on my chest when I cry,” he belts on the song’s final verse. 

The Handsome Family — “So Much Wine” (2000)

No instrument reminds me of home more than harmonica. So, on the surface “So Much Wine” sounds warm. But lyrically, it’s freezing cold. It’s midnight in a blizzard and your coat is still on the rack. The song is a somber slice of dysfunction and alcoholism, told through the lens of a Christmas Day spat. 

“There’s only so much wine you can drink in one life,” Handsome Family vocalist Brett Sparks sings. “But it will never be enough to save you from the bottom of your glass.”

This is a modern indie rock holiday classic so beloved that genre staples like Phoebe Bridgers, Andrew Bird and Katy Kirby have all covered it.

Ther — “2 holidays” (2023)

Ther is a musical project led by Heather Jones. They’re well-known in the lo-fi music world for mixing and mastering records for artists like MJ Lenderman and Samia.

Their song “2 holidays” is the best holiday-adjacent song of 2023, and There is a tip-toe between shivering and sanguine on each verse. That feeling is truly only replicated by the holiday season itself. 

“The old year ended last night,” they sing on the third verse. “We gathered around to pretend that the new one would make things right.”

Pedal steel sings emotionally behind Jones, and plucky guitar tabs drop inches of musical snow. 

“I like to believe that there is a moment in between, both the end and beginning, when we are all free.”

On This Daytrotter: Fenne Lily, Nov. 30, 2018

“Big Picture,” from English singer-songwriter Fenne Lily is another 2023 release full of lyrical gems.

On the album’s cover, there’s a snow globe. But inside the sphere, there aren’t lights or nativity scenes or flakes of glitter. It’s green, lush and swallowing a quartet of pine trees. The ground is opening up and taking an entire home with it, too. That’s about what the album sounds like — especially on the outro, “Half Finished.” 

“Watching the world outside moving too fast makes me wonder if we are as well,” she sings. “I told you I love you, and mean it completely, I just can’t say the same to myself.”

Five years ago this week, Fenne Lily stopped in Davenport to play songs at Daytrotter from her debut record. Today, the snow is melting outside my window. Though I’m sure it’ll come down again soon.

Maybe this year will be better than the last.