Published in the Quad-City Times on Aug. 2, 2024

T-Pain makes club songs.

At first glance, the Mississippi Valley Fair Grandstand is nothing like a club. It smells like mulch. Its dance floor is a sloppy soup of mud and corn dog sticks. 

As the only rapper of the six Grandstand performers at this year’s, T-Pain came in with a tall task: make the fair his club.

If anybody is charismatic enough to make the cowboys go crunk, it’s T-Pain. His breakneck speed-run through rap hits of the last 20 years — not all of which were his own — was electric Thursday night. 

But unfortunately, T-Pain’s killer setlist was overshadowed by the elephant in the mud: the fans did not know how to act.

Multiple near-scuffles broke out during the set. Many turned their pints into projectiles and launched them at their peers. Some of those thrown objects made it on stage and nearly hit the singer himself. It was a mess. 

To put it bluntly, T-Pain deserved better than us. 

Local opener went up first

The evening didn’t start so nasty. Davenport-raised singer-songwriter Zay Davis was the opening act, taking the stage around 7 p.m.

Some fans may not have known the words to his songs, but Davis had a great time regardless. He picked a few local pals out of the crowd and said hello before “No Distractions,” later bringing up local rapper Tanner Johnson for a verse. 

He understood the audience, too, giving space for a few throwback covers of Lil Jon collaborations “Shots” (with LMFAO) and “Low” (with the Ying Yang Twins). He also brought out a whole crew of backup dancers, the RAQStars, who gave the show more energy than you’d expect from a local opener. 

You could tell it meant a lot to him. 

“I started producing and writing because of (T-Pain),” he told the fans. 

The pulsing, tropical bass knocks sometimes overshadowed Davis on the mic, but his big grin and elaborate stage presence made it forgivable. 

The fans were clearly restless for T-Pain, though. When a local radio station tossed out free T-shirts at 8 p.m., the time the rapper was scheduled to take the stage, many booed.

He finally took the stage in a full sprint just after 8:15 p.m., dressed in baggy yellow shorts, a gray tee, white shades and a yellow cap that came off after just a few songs.

Over the speakers, a narrator with a British accent announced the show would begin with a “mandatory vibe check.” The fans passed the first set of tests, as T-Pain grooved to “Up Down (Do This All Day)” and Baby Bash’s “Cyclone.”

As the night moved along, it was genuinely jarring to hear just how many club bangers T-Pain has lent his voice to over the years. There was Unk’s instructional dance hit “2 Step,” which T-Pain cut short to make sure the speakers were loud enough.

There was also “Booty Wurk (One Cheek at A Time),” a song with a title I can’t write with a straight face, and a melody I can’t hear with a straight face either.

It was easy to smile while watching T-Pain. His dance moves are perhaps the most endearing I’ve seen on a rap stage. The 39-year-old wiggled and writhed to every track with the care-free demeanor of a cool principal at senior prom. 

His stage banter was also irresistibly funny. 

“My wife is here with me, she’s taking applications in the back for girlfriends,” he cracked. 

The highlight of the setlist’s first half came when T-Pain’s DJ, DJ Montay, faded Michael Jackson’s “P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)” into Kanye West and T-Pain’s “Good Life.” T-Pain even gave us a moonwalk. 

“Now throw your hands up in the sky,” the rapper sang along to the hook.

Hearing that chorus is the closest to nirvana a rap fan in the Quad-Cities can get this year. Barring a buzzer-beating booking at The Mark, T-Pain will be the biggest rapper seen in the Quad-Cities in 2024, and “Good Life” is one of his most triumphant smashes. That was worth the cost of admission alone. 

The throwback hits were abundant: Chris Brown collab “Kiss Kiss,” “Can’t Believe It,” Jamie Foxx track “Blame It” and “Buy You A Drank” with a fade-in from Lil Jon’s “Snap Yo Fingers.” 

He gave the fans some recent stuff, too. He interpolated “Location” by Khalid in “5 O’Clock,” weaved “The Boss” with Kendrick Lamar’s summer diss-smash “Not Like Us,” and threw a refrain from Sexxy Red on “I’m ‘N Luv (Wit A Stripper).”

T-Pain threatened to leave early

For most of the songs, T-Pain just sang harmonies over his pre-recorded vocals, but it never felt lazy. The thick layer of sweat staining his tee was proof enough that the rapper was working hard out there. 

That’s what made the fan behavior all the more frustrating. Thrown beer cans were a problem at Koe Wetzel performance the night before, too, but almost all of those ended up being friendly fire, hitting fellow fans instead of Wetzel himself. 

The story was different at the T-Pain show. The crowd was larger, too. A few thrown objects made their way onto the stage, and moments after singing “Best Love Song” to a sea of cell phone lights and dubbed-in electric guitar, T-Pain let the fans know he’d had enough.  

“As a motherf****r who turns 40 this year, I’m not obligated to stay up here while motherf*****s keep disrespecting me,” he said. “If I get disrespected too much, I can leave and I get paid the same amount.” 

T-Pain tried to lighten the mood and acknowledged that the fans being nuisances were just bad apples in a good bunch. He danced on stage for a second to alleviate the tension.

But the roughly three-minute rant persisted. It felt earned, too. It would’ve been completely justified for T-Pain to leave the stage at that exact moment, and for a second it seemed like he actually would. 

“I’m not saying that I want to leave, I’m not pissed or anything, but it’s only so much s**t I’m (going to take),” he said. “I’m not a f*****g clown. I’m not gonna sit up here and get pies thrown in my face.”

Some fans chanted his name in encouragement. Others sat still like rowdy teenagers getting scolded by a beloved teacher. 

The rapper decided to keep on, finishing the last 30 minutes of his set with a demeanor that was visibly rattled, but still club ready. The fans mostly cooled off after his rant, thanks in part to the fact that the back half of the show was much slower and quieter. 

There was a medley of slow-jam covers — “Don’t Stop Believin’,” “Tennessee Whiskey,” “Stay With Me” — that turned to neo-soul anthems with his impressive range and choral harmonies on tape. He gave out a few more hard-hitters, too, like DJ Khaled’s “I’m So Hood” and “All I Do Is Win.”

The latter was the finale, and the biggest crowd-pleaser of the night. Its “put your hands in the air and make ’em stay there” chorus was so infectious that it kept folks from pretending they’re Tom Brady with a tallboy. 

“You stopped throwing s**t, that was super cool” he said in his farewell, laying out his “Nappy Boy Code of Ethics.”  

But all in all, the fans’ disregard for any respectful concert code of ethics made it a disappointing night.

Throwing objects on stage is unfortunately a common problem in major concert spaces since 2020. Just last year, Cardi B got hit with a drink in Vegas, P!nk with an urn in London, and Drake with a phone in Chicago. It’s the worst game of Clue you’ve ever played. 

Because somehow, during the pandemic, we lost appropriate concert etiquette. And we’ve got to put it back together again.

The fair was part of the problem Thursday night, not the solution. It was a let-down, despite the fact that the show was a delight. 

I hope T-Pain comes back, and I hope next time Club Quad-Cities treats him right. He deserved better than this.